Oh, Mary, we love you!
Mary has nearly completed her first month in a Montessori Children's House (choose "Montessori" > "Pedagogy" > "Casa dei Bambini" for a brief introduction to a Children's House).
Mary and Montessori are a perfect match. (Perfect!!) But that doesn't mean the transition has been easy.
Last spring, Greg's absence began to take a toll on Mary. While his occasional visits were a blessing, they were not without a downside. All those good-byes had a profound impact on Mary. She has spent the last several months living in perpetual fear of abandonment. I believe she spent the entire month of August on Greg's hip. She even resorted to such shenanigans as standing in the bathroom while he showered and gluing herself to him beginning at 2 am each night. There was no way she was letting that daddy out of her sight.
Progress has been made. Mary no longer has a panic attack when her dad leaves the house. She (usually) loves her nursery class at church. But school has had its ups and downs.
One up--a Mount Everest of an up--is how much Mary loves her teacher, Anna. They made an immediate connection. [One day I was folding laundry with Mary. (Yes, Mary can totally fold! She learned this at school. It's awesome! She really, truly helps me fold clothes!) She stopped what she was doing, looked off thoughtfully into space, sighed, and then said in a dreamy voice, "I love folding with Anna." ] The down is that Anna cannot give Mary her undivided attention all of the time. Mary is slowly building her independence and forming friendships with the other children. Like I said, progress has been made.
Progress was helped very much by a heartfelt conversation Mary and I had earlier this week. We had a rather deep and important conversation. I'm not quite sure how we managed to communicate so well--she is not even three and not especially verbal. But I think it was our hearts talking to each other, with God's help. The Holy Ghost help me know what Mary was feeling, and it helped her know what I was trying to say.
What I learned is that Mary did not know that I love her when I am not with her. She did not know that I love her when she is at school. She did not know that Daddy loves her when he is not with her. She did not know that Daddy loves her when he goes to school, or when she is at gymnastics, or when he is taking a shower, or when she is sleeping in her bed. She did not know that Grammy and Grandma Evie and her grandpas and Tio and Tia love her when they are far away. She did not know that Anna loves her even when she must help other children.
When I understood what Mary did not know, I could feel how broken her heart was. I held her close, and we both cried. I explained to her that I always love her, that I love her when she is at school, and that Daddy does too. I told her Daddy loves her when he is at school or in the shower. I told her that right now Grammy and Grandpa and Grandma Evie and Grandpa Mike and Tio and Tio all love her, and they love her when she is at school. I told her that Anna loves her even when she is helping other children. And I told her that Heavenly Father and Jesus always, always love her. She looked up at me with a tear-streaked face, and she smiled. I could feel the tension leaving her little body. And I knew she understood.
School has gone much better since then.
As proof, I have this note that Mary and her beloved teacher wrote yesterday. (It is displayed on the kitchen towel that so conveniently hid my messy kitchen counter from the camera.)
Oh, Mary, we love you! Always.
