Here are pictures of David's kindergarten field trip to the zoo.
Notice anyone missing? Like, perhaps, DAVID? And his class?
Yesterday was the big, exciting kindergarten field trip to the zoo. I resisted the urge to chaperon. (I did chaperon this one though.) David was a little disappointed--how I love that he loves to be with me!--but when I pointed out that he wouldn't be able to be in the same group as his bff (since his mom had volunteered) had I gone, he was much consoled.
I did, however, promise to meet him and his classmates for lunch. My plan was to pick Mary up at school and go straight to the zoo to enjoy a picnic lunch together. Mary was thrilled by the prospect.
But I failed in two important regards. I forgot the paper with Mrs.Q's cell phone number on it, so I had no way to find out where they were at the appointed lunchtime. I also forgot sunscreen, which meant Mary's Snow White shoulders limited us to just minutes in the sun.
It was also a million degrees. (Really, it was a record setting day. High 90s and humid. What is this, Texas?) There were also a million kindergartners there. (Really, I do believe every K class in the entire Madison area was there yesterday. The zoo was...a zoo!)
David's class wasn't where I had imagined they would be. I soon realized they had probably left the zoo and walked to a nearby city park. With the sun beating down on us and nap time quickly encroaching, I knew we couldn't wander around until we found them. So I convinced Mary to sit in the shade with me and each lunch without her brother. She was heartbroken. I tried to make her happy with a ride on the carousel and a visit to the reptile house, but it was only a temporary salve. Mommy had failed.
I was hoping David wouldn't notice that I hadn't made it. But he did. He told me he had been sad at lunch when I didn't come. It broke my heart.
I hate failing my kids. Not like when I refuse to buy them a toy, or kick them off the computer, or send them to their rooms for time-out. But, like yesterday, when I fail to meet reasonable expectations and leave them disappointed. How it hurts to be the cause of their disappointment.
Yeah, yeah, I know it's not a big deal. I fail my kids a millions times over. It's not like it's a big news flash. But I want to be a perfect mom. Not for me. For them. But I suspect my failures are harder on me than them. At least I hope so.
The silver lining: It was fun to spend an hour or so at the zoo with just Mary. Lately, I have especially enjoyed spending one-on-one time with each of my children. I love each of them so much, and they each make great companions. I love their personalities--the only problem being that their personalities don't mesh together so well. Maybe family time is overrated. I think I'd like some more one-one-one outings with my kids.
