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| Sara with Evan and Eliza at their home in Cincinnati, March 2013 |
Once we had an accepted offer on our house here in Wisconsin, we could get serious about looking for a house in Dayton. Even though we weren't particularly excited about buying a house--we especially weren't excited about having to sell another house--we had crunched numbers, debated, and discussed, always coming back to the idea that we should buy instead of rent. Because we had lived there before, we knew the area quite well, and we thought we had an idea of where we wanted to live. We decided we wanted to return to the same church ward as before. There were two areas outside the ward that attracted us, but, ultimately, we felt it was important to go back to our old ward, and we were excited to be close to the friends we had left behind. We felt we could move forward knowing we would buy a house and knowing what neighborhoods we would consider.
Now I need to go back in time for a moment. Back in February I had decided it was time to get serious about Mary and what the heck she was going to do about school. (By the way, February is usually way too late to make schooling decisions for the following fall. Remember that, parents of young children. My excuse was that I'd had a baby and temporarily checked out of life.) I'd communicated with some people at the school district I thought we would move to, and, while they were very helpful, caring, and professional, it became clear to me that Mary would be better off at a Montessori school for another year. (I write that sentence like it was no big deal. The decision was agony. I lost a lot of sleep over Mary and school. Heck, I still lose sleep over Mary and school. I probably lose even more sleep over David and school. And, yes, I even worry about Sara and school. I clearly have a problem.)
It was obvious which Montessori school she would attend, so I contacted them to schedule a visit. They were totally full next fall, with a long wait list. I remember hanging up the phone, shocked. I knew very well that February is late in the game. But I had agonized about the decision! How could there be no space for her?? I felt panicky in my chest and sick in my stomach. And, then, those feelings melted away ... and I felt peace. I knew that things would work out for the best for Mary. I had to have patience while those things worked out. But God was aware of her (and me) and it was going to be okay. (By the way, I still don't know for sure what "okay" will be.) The school had agreed to look at Mary's application and file it away. They promised to give her preference the following year. But, surprise, a few days later, after they had received the application, they called to tell me they really wanted Mary. They created a space for her! So I scheduled a visit for a couple of weeks later, and they agreed to hold Mary's spot until we had a chance to see the school.
That's when the girls took our road trip to Ohio. Sara, Mary, and I. (What was I thinking?! Sara was congested and in the middle of her fussiest phase. I was sleep-deprived and utterly exhausted--this was in the middle of getting our house ready to sell. Mary seriously saved the day with her helpfulness, patience, and positive attitude.) Mary and I (and Sara) visited the school. Mary loved the school. I, on the other hand, had some pretty serious reservations about it. I shoved my reservations aside because I could see no other alternative. I knew it was a blessing that there was a space for Mary at that school--a door had been opened for us, so we passed through the door, even though it still felt like we hadn't yet reached the light. There was no doubt in my mind that public school in any Dayton area district was not going to be a good fit for Mary the following year, so after our tour of the school, I registered her there.
Even though we weren't ready to look seriously at houses in Dayton yet--our own house wasn't even for sale yet--I kept having the feeling I should look at a few houses with our agent while I was there. So she met up with me for an hour after our school tour and we looked at a few houses--in a neighborhood that met our needs and seemed to make a lot of sense. Unfortunately, the houses we looked at had some serious issues and were quickly crossed off the list, but we weren't really in the market so it didn't matter ... yet.
As it would turn out, the most important part of our trip was staying with Greg brother's Christ and his family in Cincinnati. It was a fast trip, but my sister-in-law Leslie convinced me to stay an extra day. Leslie and I are close, and it was so great to hang out with her. It was good to see Chris and the way he serves others. And I loved seeing my niece and nephews. They are such good, good kids. Eliza lovingly took Mary under her wing. And Luke and Evan were just as sweet as could be with Sara. Best of all was the feeling in their home. There was a feeling of love and peace and faith and dedication to the Lord. Incidentally, I also: went to church with them, made the drive to Dayton and back, saw what the area where they live is like. But, of course, at the time I didn't think much of any of that.
Okay. Now let's fast forward to mid-April. We accepted an offer on our house, so we were in a position to look seriously at homes in Dayton. That very weekend we discussed what our plan should be. We wouldn't be moving until the end of July, so we had plenty of time. We would schedule a time to go house hunting later in the spring. But we felt this great sense of urgency! And we could not shake the feeling. We needed to find our house in Ohio ... right away!
Now I am going to try even harder to make a long story short. (Believe it or not, I've been trying all along.) Suffice it to say, Greg and I felt we needed to find a house almost immediately but we didn't feel good about anything! There was nothing in the ward and schools we wanted that we felt comfortable buying. The obvious thing to do was to wait ... but we still felt that sense of urgency. We discussed and debated for hours on end. Finally, one morning we woke up and realized we should buy a house I'd seen back in March that was still on the market. I had immediately crossed it off the list back then because it was too small-- just over half the size of our current house. But everything else about it made sense. And we realized, though we would have to make some sacrifices and change some of the ways we lived, we could make it work. Greg and I talked about what we would have to do to downsize--we even went through the house and noted much of the furniture and belongings we would have to shed. Then we called our real estate agent to put together an offer.
We felt confident in our decision. We knew we had carefully considered many, many factors. And this house clearly made the most sense. In fact, it was the only one that made any sense. We felt good about our offer, but also nervous. I remember kneeling at my bedside and praying very specifically, "Father in Heaven, we really believe this is the best house. We have done our best to make the best decision we possibly can. We feel good about this choice. So if buying this house is not the right thing, it is in your hands now, and I will trust that you will take care of us."
Our offer was not accepted. In fact, due to one little accidentally missed email, the sellers didn't have a chance to see our offer before they had accepted another one. It was disappointing. But also a relief--I felt this was the Lord looking out for us. Only I was totally confused. Because we were back to square one.
To be continued again ... final post coming soon.
