With his wife pretty much down for the count, Greg was left alone to bear the burden of, well, everything this summer. I tried, I really tried!
Greg already does the dishes every night, so I feel it my do or die duty to create the mess he cleans up each evening. I tried to keep making dinner...I had the best of intentions. But things got worse and worse. Until, for the third day in a row when the kids asked, "What are we having for dinner?" I answered, "Toast." Greg, who had been patiently watching me try and desperately hoping I would rally (and eating lots of toast), volunteered to start making dinner. At first I resisted. But I could see the look in his eyes, "Man cannot live on toast alone." So I relented, much relieved. Greg, being the kind of man he is, promptly took over all the shopping, inventoried the pantry, and looked up fabulous new recipes online. We ate better than we had in months. (Or at least he and the kids did.)
Greg also took on about every other household duty you could think of (and this was on top of everything he already does). Greg found himself doing all of the shopping, cooking, and cleaning, as well as putting the kids to bed every night. I nominally retained responsibility of the laundry, which pretty much meant not doing laundry (but everyone had clean underwear!). Fortunately, Greg has broad shoulders.
Unfortunately, the timing was a little bad. Greg had an important dissertation deadline just around the corner. He needed to finish his research proposal. He had been telling me all spring, "You know, Alisa, I'm going to be really busy the first part of the summer writing my proposal." I was like "Oh, okay, whatever." You see, when I thought "research proposal" I thought of the paragraph my ninth graders would scribble onto a piece of scratch paper in response to the assignment to tell me what they wanted to do their six-page research paper on. At most, I thought of the two or three page "research proposals" I was required to turn into my graduate school professors before embarking on major research papers. I figured since my research proposals were two pages long, and getting a PhD in Systems Engineering is, I estimated, four or fives times harder than getting a master's in English Lit, then his research proposal would have to be, say, ten pages long. Sheesh! How hard is it to crank out ten pages?
Finally, when I decided to be a better listener, I gathered the reality of the situation. Greg's research proposal was the document for his prelims, an oral exam where he presents his research ideas and his committee grills him on the topic for two hours. The "research proposal" is a tad more than a 10 page document. It's 150 pages. Ouch. No wonder he was stressing.
I was stressing too! How could Greg take care of every single aspect of our family and home, as well as complete the proposal on time? I mean, I knew he could do it. Heck, he was doing it! But it was a big burden. And we both knew he would be thankful for a little help.
So he asked his mom. Vicky has seven children, seventeen grandchildren, parents, siblings, nieces and nephews, and dear friends spread out across the continent. When summer comes, and she is not teaching seminary and piano, she makes the most of it, criss-crossing the country and racking up the frequent flier miles. The week we desperately hoped she could come help was the one week she was going to be home. I'm sure she had plans to catch her breath, can peaches, work in the garden, and relax. But she was willing to come help us instead.
She spent a week with us, cooking delicious meals, stocking our freezer, hosting playgroup at our house, cleaning, keeping me company (it's nice to have someone around to talk to--it helps keeps your mind off how crummy you feel) and, most importantly, playing with the kids. I retreated to my bedroom, and Greg chugged along on his writing, while Grammy entertained the kids and kept the house running. It was a week of rest and work Greg and I both, respectively, needed.
Like I mentioned before, I was lucky enough to generally feel okay for a while each morning, so I tagged along on a couple of outings. But mostly Grammy's visit was quiet and spent playing at home, where Grammy and the kids built forts and played games.
This is a picture of true Christlike service:
One morning we managed a visit to the children's museum...
David and Mary each worked on their own version of Hogwart's.
David and Mary worked together to build a house out of a variety of materials.
One day Greg even emerged from his office cave long enough to visit Little Norway with us.
I'm related to the original Norwegian settlers somehow (I just can't remember how).
I'm also related to her...
This was more than Mary getting in touch with her inner Viking. This is more about how much she wants long, blonde locks. (Sorry, hon. You always want what you don't have.)
What a blessing it was to have Grammy here! Greg made so much progress that week--it was amazing. I am humbled by Vicky's willingness to drop everything to help us. What a great example of love and service. We will ever be so, so grateful for the sacrifice she made to be here.
