- You fall asleep at night brainstorming first name/middle name combinations.
- You have an empty closet reserved for a baby's clothes. ("Hey, who put their stuff in this closet??? Where will the baby's clothes go?!")
- You purposely leave open spaces on your walls where you can hang pictures of the new baby.
- When you buy a skirt and realize it's way too big, you keep it anyway because it will be perfect when you're pregnant.
- Ditto with the pants.
- You refuse to commit to anything that is nine months from now.
- You neglect to stock up on "feminine care products" because you assume you won't need them. This leads to a minor crisis every month.
- You passed up the fabulous boots (which were on sale!) because of the high heel. You don't have great balance when you're pregnant, so you figure you wouldn't be able to wear them for a long time.
- You constantly calculate and recalculate how old you will be in nine months and what the age difference between this baby and your youngest child will be.
- Your heart melts when your children pray for a baby.
- You joke about never having any more kids.
- You still have the old Exersaucer.
How you know you are pessimistic about having a baby:
- You redo all the bedrooms; you leave no room anywhere for a crib.
- You buy a brand new car; it is not a minivan.
- You buy "feminine care products" in bulk at Costco.
- You also buy pregnancy tests in bulk.
- You realize you have said a lot of insensitive things in your life.
- You all too often take the phrase "after all we can do" in 2 Nephi 25:23 out of context and wonder at its meaning. (Does it mean "after all your insurance will pay for"? "After all that is medically possible"? "After all that you can do with a thermometer and a few pills"?)
- You never joke about never having any more kids.
- You panic when your children pray for a baby.
- You look forward to being a grandparent. You figure a grandkid is the closest thing you're gonna get to another kid.
- The numbers involved in calculating your age in nine months, as well as the age difference between your youngest child and a baby born in nine months, far exceed your mathematical abilities.
- You start planning a big future vacation; it's not the baby-friendly kind.
- You are rehanging all of your pictures; there will be no open spaces.
I might write about this more; I might not.
P.S. I feel like I should add: I am at a special peaceful place in the middle.
