It goes something like this: Once upon a time, I scheduled an appointment. Greg and I went to the hospital at the appointed time. The doctor cut me open, pulled out Sara, and sewed me up. The end.
Hmmm. Not much of a story.
But, if you don't mind, I have to tell something!
I admit: I love to hear women share their birth experiences. (And don't you love to hear your own mom share about your birth?) Okay, so maybe there is a tiny element of whatever it is that causes us humans to slow down to stare at a car wreck. But mostly it is because birth is so beautiful/messy/frightening/painful/joyous/dramatic/mysterious/simple. There is something about wanting to share in the joy and empathize with the pain. And there is always, always drama, hence, a story. A brand new human being comes into the world! How could there not be drama? Every birth is exciting and special.
In Sara's case, most of the drama (what there was of it) came after she was born. So it seems like more of a "hospital story." As cold and institutional as that sounds, that's what I'm going to call it--"a hospital story." I have a million details I want to remember, but for now I will set aside 999,997 of them and focus on three things. (I love the rule of three's.) I will share something good, something bad, and something ugly. (No worries--no pictures of the latter!)
First ...
Something Good. Namely: I Got to Be Awake.
When David, my first, was born, I had a spinal block with no problem. When I was in labor with Mary two years later, I requested an epidural. The anesthesiologist, however, was not able to get it in, meaning she couldn't find any spinal fluid in which to insert the catheter. She just kept hitting bone. The doctor tried the epidural three times, and then she attempted a spinal block (which I believe requires a smaller needle?) twice. She was mystified (and clearly troubled) because she couldn't see any reason why it wouldn't work. Needless to say, that story ends with my giving birth without pain medication. But the point is that the next morning the hospital's head anesthesiologist came to see me, and she gave me strict instructions to inform future doctors of what had happened should I ever need another epidural or spinal block.
(By the way, feel free to use me as an example! Be super annoying and say to your friend who is flippant about her upcoming birth because she plans to get an epidural, "Well, one of my friends totally planned to get an epidural and then it totally wouldn't work and then she had to push for like four hours without any pain relief and she was completely freaking out, so you might want to consider preparing yourself mentally at least a little bit." Then be even more annoying and hand her the book Birthing from Within, which I truly recommend. Incidentally, Mary's birth was the worst ... but it made me a believer in "natural" childbirth. Says the woman who scheduled a C-section for her next birth. Sigh.)
So when we went to the hospital that morning, all of the nurses, my doctor, and the anesthesiologist (and, most importantly, ME) were well aware that I may have to be put under general anesthesia for this birth.
Here is what happened. (Oh, and remember this was the only drama involved in the birth, so savor it.) The anesthesiologist, whom I will henceforth refer to as Dr. K because I will lose my mind if I type " the anesthesiologist" one more time, came marching into the OR in that self-important way doctors have. (This guy was dripping ego out of his ears.) He confirmed with me that the last time this had been tried, it had been unsuccessful.
"That didn't happen here at St. Mary's, did it?" he asked.
No, I explained, it had been at a military hospital in Ohio.
"Hmph," he snorted. "Figures. Well, don't worry. We're better than they are."
(I guess it's nice to know your current anesthesiologist feels competitive with your previous one?)
Precariously balanced on the edge of the cold metal operating table, I curled into an uncomfortable ball, and Dr. K got right to work.
Within half a second, he said, "Ooooh...I see..." with new found understanding. He could see that those fools in Ohio weren't completely incompetent. There really was something wrong with my spine. Great.
By this time I was completely resigned to being unconscious during the birth of this baby. Months earlier I had been terrified of this. I was scared of being unconscious, and my heart broke when I thought of not meeting my Sara right away. But slowly, over time, I had adjusted to the possibility. I reminded myself that gazillions of people survive general anesthesia. It would be okay if I didn't see Sara the instant she was born. Greg and I had talked about it, and I knew he would hold her tight and keep her safe. So by that morning I was completely at peace with not being awake for Sara's birth.
Dr. K, however, was not at peace with that. Not at all.
He tried and tried and tried again. I lost count how often he tried. Maybe six or seven times? Let's remember that for each attempt there are two needle pokes--one for the local anesthesia and one for the actual spinal block. So that's a dozen needles in your back. It is FREAKY. And this time I didn't have labor pains to distract me from the freaky-ness.
It was tense in the OR as everyone anxiously waited and I strained to stay calm and hunched over.
Eventually, I squeaked out, "Um, how many more times are we trying?"
"Oh, he's just getting started," my doctor assured me. My heart sank. Remember, I saw general anesthesia as the inevitable outcome, and, by then, I just wanted to get the show on the road. But everyone was very committed to this spinal block.
Then Dr. K announced, "I have one more trick up my sleeve." I wasn't sure how I felt about someone performing tricks on my spinal column ...
And then it worked!
Everyone breathed a huge sigh of relief. I was laid down, Greg was rushed into the room, the curtain put up, and Dr. K--now my superhero complete with ego, confidence, experience, and sleeve full of tricks--marched out of the room. I was in shock. I was going to be awake for Sara's birth.
I was going to be AWAKE for Sara's birth!!
And I was!
