This is Mary, just days before her baby sister was born. Here she is still my baby girl.
Deanna was right. She told me (warned me?) that my youngest would suddenly, the moment she walked into the hospital room to meet her newborn sibling, become older. In that very instant, she would mature before my eyes and seem to grow much bigger, physically and emotionally. She would no longer be my baby; she would be big. Even on such a joyous occasion, a part of me would be sad, grieving the loss of my former baby. And that is exactly what happened.
I look at the picture above, and I see my baby ... because she still was, that day. But now Mary is a big sister, my oldest daughter, a position of some (if not a lot) of responsibility in any family. So when I look at her now, I see a girl, a mature five-year-old. I even catch glimpses of the young woman she will become. I don't see a hint of baby anymore.
Fortunately, from the moment Mary walked into the hospital room to meet her baby sister, she has shown that she was always destined to be a big sister.
It's as if now, finally, she can be who she was meant to be. She seems more fulfilled than ever. Looking back, to just a few weeks ago, there was a huge hole in Mary's life. I just couldn't see it. But now it is so obvious it was there. And Sara fills that hole.
Mary is a driven, highly-motivated girl. And it is with that energetic spirit that she dove into her role as big sister. Let me give you a few examples.
Besides the usual wanting to hug and hold and kiss the new baby, Mary clearly senses that her new role involves more responsibility. And she is up to the challenge. She is helpful and trustworthy--fetching pacifiers, nursing pads, even syringes of colostrum. She learned how to turn the breast pump on and off for me. She jumps at the chance to help out with household tasks--like wiping up spills and dividing laundry. Mary is genuinely helpful. And it makes her happy.
On Sara's first night home, Mary spent ages reading to Sara, mostly stories she had written at school. It was as if Mary has learned to read this year for the very purpose of reading to her baby sister.
Mary, also, through the sheer force of her will brought to pass a birthday celebration for Sara. After Sara and I were home from the hospital, Mary insisted on a birthday party. We were all a little tired, and I tried to put her off. We would celebrate another time, I promised. But Mary insisted, and she persisted. Suddenly, I found myself in the middle of a party executed solely by my five-year-old's power of will (and organizational skills). We ate pumpkin muffins with chocolate chips and played board games. The celebration also included story time for Sara and the wearing of Sara's special hat. How I appreciate Mary's hard work! I am so glad we celebrated Sara's "zero birthday."
I have one more example, for now, of Mary's enthusiasm and dedication to her new role. My friend Shawna, wise mother of five including three daughters, bought Mary and Sara adorable matching outfits. And she was careful to buy them in sizes that could be worn immediately. While it hadn't even crossed my mind, Shawna knew that Mary would desperately want to wear matching outfits with her sister. Really? A five-year-old would want to match her newborn sister? Ah, but Shawna knew.
When Sara and I were in the hospital, Mary would sneak into my bedroom and pull the outfits out of the bag, carefully laying them out on the bed, admiring them. And, sure enough, once we were home, she insisted on their wearing them as soon as possible.
Mary adores her baby sister, and she wants to cuddle her and hug her and kiss her. But she seems to sense something beyond the babyhood. She already, in a way, treats her as a peer. As the friend I so hope Sara will be to her one day.
Sara is very blessed to have Mary as her sister.
