All baby all the time

I had a blog.  I had a baby.

Now I have a blog about a baby.

It won't last forever, this singular focus on my blog.

But for now, there is nothing I would rather think about than sweet little Sara.

Everybody loves Sara

Last visitor

Grandpa Mike with three of his grandchildren

Our last visitor went home today.  My dad.  Also known as Grandpa Mike.

He was here for Sara's blessing.  And then he stayed on a couple of days to help out.  He drove the kids to and from school.  He played countless games of chess with David and allowed himself to be bossed around by Mary for hours on end.  (Grandpa Mike is a patient and willing playmate.  We miss him already!)  And, of course, he held our little Sara.

I'm deeply grateful he came.  Thank you, Dad.


P.S.  Also, he brought new books for me to read!

P.P.S.  So now we are officially on our own.  Gulp.

Bigger brother

 Sara has an awesome big brother.

David is sensitive and spiritual.  His tender heart and his spiritual connection to heaven are, I believe, great God-given gifts.  These special gifts have been especially apparent in his relationship with Sara.

From the moment he met Sara, David has embraced her with giddy excitement and unconditional love.

David is careful in his observations of Sara, attuning himself to her needs.  He checks in on her regularly throughout the day, to see how she is--and smell her, he loves her smell.  He even called us at her well-baby appointment to check on her.  He examines her facial expressions, watches how she moves her body, and listens to her cries, noting differences.  Then he puts those observations to good use:

He has figured out that her favorite song is "I Am a Child of God," and he will sing it to her with me--and this is from the boy who does NOT sing.  Speaking of the boy who does NOT sing, he also sings her a song he made up about Mario bringing her a pizza pie and another, sung to the tune of "Christmas Bells," about her being born in St. Mary's hospital.  That David sings to Sara is a sign of his deep devotion to her.

David is also especially adept at knowing when she wants a pacifier.  He will hear her squeak from the other side of the house, and he will come running, insisting that she wants her binkie.  Or he will be holding her and just by looking at her expression he can tell if she needs her binkie.  Or he can tell if she doesn't want it.  And he's always right!

Just last night Sara was a little fussy, and he wanted to hold her.  He knew right away to bounce her and just how to do it.  He turned into our super deluxe bouncy chair--and he settled her down for the evening.  David is definitely the baby whisperer in our house.

However, David's relationship with Sara goes deeper than observations and watchfulness.  They share some kind of special connection that I do not understand, but David is just beginning to.  When we first brought Sara home, David wanted to hold her out of excitement and the novelty of it.  But as the days (and now weeks) passed, he has developed an emotional need to spend to time with her each evening.  David goes about his life as normal, running off to school, playing Legos and Minecraft at home, resisting his parents' insistence that he brush his teeth and clean his room.  But, every evening, he pauses to spend time with Sara. It is no longer for the fun novelty of it.  He holds her on his lap or sweetly sings to her in the swing because something deeper is drawing him to her.  David and Sara already share something special, and he is drawn to reconnect with her every day.

Most special of all, David has heard the whisperings of heaven.  This is his greatest gift, to understand how to feel the Spirit of God.  And God has spoken to his heart about Sara.  One evening he was quietly watching Sara while she was in the swing.  I could see thoughtfulness and tenderness in his face.  A few moments later, he rushed to me, tears in his eyes, and put his arms around me.  "Mom," he said, "I know Sara and I are going to have good times together.  I can feel it."  He returned to Sara, with a look of contemplation and love on his face.  A moment later, he rushed back to me, with more tears in his eyes.  "I am so grateful Sara is in our family," he said, beginning to cry and burying his head in my arm.  There was more to say, but what was in his heart was too big for words.  I hugged him.  He told me he knew Heavenly Father was telling him how special Sara was, that those feelings were from God.  He was right.

 I think in some profound way David may understand Sara more than I do.  That in a way that cannot be verbalized, he can see who she is.  And he understands her place in our family.

And he understands his role in her life.

Sara is very blessed to have David as her brother.

15 days

Our sweet Sara has been with us now for two weeks and a day.  Here are a handful of pictures from the past few days ...

How we love our sweet Sara.

Big sister

This is Mary, just days before her baby sister was born.  Here she is still my baby girl.

Deanna was right.  She told me (warned me?) that my youngest would suddenly, the moment she walked into the hospital room to meet her newborn sibling, become older.  In that very instant, she would mature before my eyes and seem to grow much bigger, physically and emotionally.  She would no longer be my baby; she would be big.  Even on such a joyous occasion, a part of me would be sad, grieving the loss of my former baby.  And that is exactly what happened.

I look at the picture above, and I see my baby ... because she still was, that day.  But now Mary is a big sister, my oldest daughter, a position of some (if not a lot) of responsibility in any family.  So when I look at her now, I see a girl, a mature five-year-old.  I even catch glimpses of the young woman she will become.  I don't see a hint of baby anymore.

Fortunately, from the moment Mary walked into the hospital room to meet her baby sister, she has shown that she was always destined to be a big sister.

It's as if now, finally, she can be who she was meant to be.  She seems more fulfilled than ever.  Looking back, to just a few weeks ago, there was a huge hole in Mary's life.  I just couldn't see it.  But now it is so obvious it was there.  And Sara fills that hole.

Mary is a driven, highly-motivated girl.  And it is with that energetic spirit that she dove into her role as big sister.  Let me give you a few examples.

Besides the usual wanting to hug and hold and kiss the new baby, Mary clearly senses that her new role involves more responsibility.  And she is up to the challenge.  She is helpful and trustworthy--fetching pacifiers, nursing pads, even syringes of colostrum.  She learned how to turn the breast pump on and off for me.  She jumps at the chance to help out with household tasks--like wiping up spills and dividing laundry.  Mary is genuinely helpful.  And it makes her happy.

On Sara's first night home, Mary spent ages reading to Sara, mostly stories she had written at school.  It was as if Mary has learned to read this year for the very purpose of reading to her baby sister.

Mary, also, through the sheer force of her will brought to pass a birthday celebration for Sara.  After Sara and I were home from the hospital, Mary insisted on a birthday party.  We were all a little tired, and I tried to put her off.  We would celebrate another time, I promised.  But Mary insisted, and she persisted.  Suddenly, I found myself in the middle of a party executed solely by my five-year-old's power of will (and organizational skills).  We ate pumpkin muffins with chocolate chips and played board games.  The celebration also included story time for Sara and the wearing of Sara's special hat.  How I appreciate Mary's hard work!  I am so glad we celebrated Sara's "zero birthday."

I have one more example, for now, of Mary's enthusiasm and dedication to her new role.  My friend Shawna, wise mother of five including three daughters, bought Mary and Sara adorable matching outfits.  And she was careful to buy them in sizes that could be worn immediately.  While it hadn't even crossed my mind, Shawna knew that Mary would desperately want to wear matching outfits with her sister.  Really?  A five-year-old would want to match her newborn sister?  Ah, but Shawna knew.

When Sara and I were in the hospital, Mary would sneak into my bedroom and pull the outfits out of the bag, carefully laying them out on the bed, admiring them.  And, sure enough, once we were home, she insisted on their wearing them as soon as possible.

Mary adores her baby sister, and she wants to cuddle her and hug her and kiss her.  But she seems to sense something beyond the babyhood.  She already, in a way, treats her as a peer.  As the friend I so hope Sara will be to her one day.

Sara is very blessed to have Mary as her sister.

Now there are three

Grandma Evie goes home

My mom went home yesterday, after being here for two whole weeks.  It was wonderful.  She took care of David and Mary while we were in the hospital.  She also put in her own hours (and hours!) at the hospital with me and Sara.

After we came home from the hospital, it was such a blessing to have her around.  She drove David and Mary to school and picked them up, did the laundry, cleaned bathrooms, made lunches, cooked dinner, washed dishes, as well as having baby duty.  It was a blessing to have her here.  It eased the burden of daily life, allowing our family to enjoy this sweet time.  We also got to celebrate her birthday!

Grandma Evie enjoyed plenty of girl time with her granddaughters:
 

We miss Grandma Evie already!  But we're pretty sure Sara charmed her...she won't be able to stay away too too long.



P.S.  I think some of my favorite pictures of my mom are of her with my newborns.

Grandma Evie with Baby David
June 2007

Grandma Evie with Baby Mary
October 2005

My girls this afternoon

Sara helps Daddy on his dissertation

One week home

It's been one week since we came home from the hospital.  I have a few pictures to share of that event.

Mary insisted that Sara wear home the same outfit she, Mary, wore home from the hospital.  Fortunately, Sara was small enough to wear it.  (Though we were fully prepared to squeeze her into it no matter her size.)

Sara had been almost completely naked almost our entire stay ... so it was almost shocking to see her in clothes.  She looked a little goofy to us--we couldn't help but chuckle.  (And I'm sure it doesn't help that pretty much all newborns look pretty goofy in clothes.)

Here is our goofy little Buddha baby in her car seat, strapped in and ready to go.

David gave Sara the hat he got in the hospital when he was born.  It says "Delivered with Love at Kent General Hospital."  It probably does not lessen the goofiness.  But it is oh so sweet!  Something from each of my kids, for the new kid on the block.

Finally, a picture of the happy parents.

The hospital stay was tiring and a little more intense than expected.  As things turned out, I ended up needing someone with me and Sara the whole time.  And that someone was usually Greg.  The man spent four consecutive nights on a chair!  (Can I hear some cheers for this guy?)  Greg and I hadn't spent so much one-on-one time together in years.  (Seven and a half years, to be precise.)  I suggested the time might have been better spent in Europe or the Caribbean instead of a hospital room.  Ah, but much better to get our sweet Sara out of the deal.  Sara is definitely worth everything a million gazillion times over.

We are so happy to be home, together as a family.  This is such a sweet, special time for all of us.  In fact, this past week has been one of the happiest of my life, despite the fact I'm still recovering.  I have been able to shut out much of the chaos of the outside world.  Sure, the kids still have school and activities and birthday parties to attend.  And I still have the occasional email that must be answered.  But life has stopped as much as is possible, and I am enjoying the peaceful time with my newborn.  Greg is back to working on his dissertation.  But he has moved his operation up from the basement to the kitchen table so he can be closer to Sara and me.  My mom is here to ease our burdens, allowing us to cherish this precious time.  And David and Mary adore Sara, and have embraced her as part of our family with enthusiasm and unconditional love.  Despite the near constant bickering over who gets to hold Sara, there is peace in our home.  I love the unhurried pace of my days.  How I can hold my newborn close, her head nestled under my chin, for hours on end.  I know this won't last forever.  That's what makes these early weeks of Sara's life that much sweeter.  What a blessing this time is for us.  For me, for my soul.  What a blessing Sara is.  She is truly a gift from God.