A girl in need

Last week I posted this picture of David all ready for soccer practice.  What you can't see is how desperately Mary was trying to be in the picture.  I cropped her out, mean mom that I am.  But I've been feeling bad about that.  At least I didn't crop her out of every picture that day:

What I see in the above pictures is a girl in need.  A girl in need of two things.

1. a soccer team of her own
2. a haircut

She's still too young for a soccer team of her own.  But she did start her own activity.  Dance.  She's doing tap and ballet.  And she couldn't be more excited.

Also, she got a haircut.



P.S.  Mary also needs a live-in grandma with whom she can read books and play house all day long.  She's in heaven this week--because Grandma Evie is here.  Hooray!  But all good things have to end....Friday.

D-day

Today--right at this very exact moment, in fact--Greg is taking his qualifying exam.  It's the big test that means he'll earn a PhD in Systems and Industrial Engineering--after the small detail of his dissertation, of course.

He's a little crazy for taking the qualifier after just one year in the program.  (Especially since his Master's was in management, not hard core engineering.)  Except that it's impossible to describe someone so diligent, methodical, and hardworking as crazy.

If you happen to read this post before 5:00 pm Central Time, Greg is still up to eyeballs in Markov chains, so send some good karma his way.

P.S.  The last time Greg spent a year studying for a big test--giving up months and months of Saturdays and evenings--was for the Professional Engineer exam.  We lived in Turkey at the time, and he took the exam at the naval base in Naples.  While he was sweating it out with the Darcy-Weisbach equation, I jumped in our rental car and took David and myself down the road to Pompeii.

This time I jumped in the car and took David, Mary, and myself to.....the grocery store!  (We're having everyone who's taking the test today over tomorrow for a little post-exam thank-goodness-that's-over-with get-together.)  Pompeii versus small town grocery store.  Fluid dynamcis versus decision analysis.  My, how times have changed.

It's fall

1.  David is playing soccer again.

2.  Mary's new snow pants came in the mail.

3.  My inbox is flooded with emails from the PTO.

4.  The leaves are beginning to change.

5.  We're getting our footing with the new school year.

6.  More socks, less sandals.

7.  Less tomatoes, more pumpkins.

8.  Folks are sporting green and gold.

9.  Bedtime is early.

10. I am experiencing my annual serious denial about Halloween costumes.



For better and worse, it's fall!

The Big Dig

Whoops.  I kinda forgot I have a blog.  (I knew there was something missing!) We're adjusting to fall schedules.  But mostly I am trying to dig us out of the disaster that became our home this summer.  

When I see this. . . 

. . . I just have to remind myself that we had a good summer.

(I have lots of reminders of our good summer--on every surface and in every corner of my home.)

Actually, I've spent most of the last few weeks avoiding digging ourselves out.  Because shoving everything into closets and piles in the basement doesn't really count, does it?

Summer reading round-up

Earlier this summer I looked over at my husband's nightstand and saw this.

How's that for some light summer reading?

Clearly, the top book is reading for dissertation research.  The second book also.  (Hey, Flower Mound folks, anybody recognize the author?)  Somehow they migrated from his office to our bedroom. (Probably because he likes to lie in bed at night reading about nuclear power plant accidents.  Definitely a contrast to Mary's Fancy Nancy bedtime stories.)  But the bottom two books?  That was Greg's recreational reading this summer--as in, by choice.  For pleasure.  They are books about statistics.  Yes, my husband reads books about statistics for fun.  FOR FUN.

I tease Greg about this.  But not too much.  Because when I looked over at my nightstand, there was the most boring book ever about the fall of the Ottoman Empire--and I couldn't stop reading it.  Sheesh, what a pair we make, right?

Yes, I did spend most of my summer reading about war.  (What is wrong with me??)  And other things too. (Phew.)  These are the books that found themselves on my nightstand this summer.

When summer began I was reading A Peace to End All Peace, which is more or less about World War I (the aspects that touched the Ottoman Empire anyway) and the peace process afterwards that basically screwed up the whole world and from which we still haven't recovered.

It was depressing.

So I took a break about halfway through and read Siobhan Fallon's collection of short stories about families left behind when their loved ones deploy to Iraq and Afghanistan.  (The stories are perhaps slightly above average.  Perhaps.  But worth picking up at the library for a quick afternoon read--for the glimpse of life on an Army base.)  Some of the details of military life rang painfully true--but mostly I was just grateful to be an Air Force wife.  And one whose husband hasn't often deployed.  (I was also impressed with myself for reading a work of fiction.)

Then I went back to reading the World War I book.  It was more depressing than ever.  (I should point out that this book isn't even about the gruesome details of what happened in the trenches.  It's about what happened among governments and political leaders and top decision makers.  All the missed opportunities and miscommunication. Like I said, depressing.)

Finally, I took another break from that book in order to read Unbroken about the remarkable life of Louis Zamperini and his incredible experiences during World War II.  (I recommend it.)  But you know World War I must be really bad when it feels like a relief to be reading about Japanese POW camps.

Then I went back again to finish A Peace to End All Peace.  It was like a scab I couldn't stop picking.  It was painful (and oh so boring) but I couldn't stop.  Do you know how messed up the world was during that time?  The world turned upside down.  (Seriously, I cannot believe it was not the END OF THE WORLD, as in, let's-have-that-meeting-in-Missouri end of the world.)  Now I know why we skip over World War I quickly and go straight to World War II.  Who wants to try to understand that messy, foggy, gray time when nothing makes sense and no body chose wisely?  Oh yeah, and 10 million people died.  (And let's not forget the 100 million people who died of the flu at the end of the war.  Seriously, right in the middle of those marathon peace negotiations, people are dropping dead right and left.  How was that not the end of the world?)

It was about this time that I looked at the three books sitting beside my bed and realized I must have something wrong with me.  I just spend half of my summer reading books about WAR.  Who does that?! (Besides of course the people who watch the History channel all day.)  This is why I stare at you blankly when you ask what I have read lately.  You don't want to know.  I think I have read two normal books over the past decade.  (Twilight and The Help.  They were both fine.)  Fearful of what all my war-reading might say about me (I have no idea!!--and I think I want to keep it that way), I resisted the urge to read a book about the CIA's involvement in Afghanistan.  There must be something else out there to read about besides war....

....ah, yes.  Good old Malcolm Gladwell.  I finally broke down and had my Malcolm Gladwell phase last winter.  I read Mr. Gladwell non-stop for a month.  (I think I liked the collection of essays best.  But it's Outliers, darn it, that I can't stop thinking about.)  Fortunately, there was still one more Gladwell book out there in the Universe that I hadn't yet read.  Tipping Point.  It was okay.  A little quaint.  But still interesting.  In any case, it did the job.  I stopped reading about war.

Instead I then wandered aimlessly, desperately in the land of What Should I Read? for a week or two.  I almost broke down and read that book about the CIA.  But then I remembered my favorite NYTimes columnist, who has been on vacation all summer and it's been killing me.  I wondered if she'd written any books.

And that started the next phase of my summer.  History about women.  A nice contrast to the first half of the summer, if I do say so myself.  I quite enjoyed reading When Everything Changed: The Amazing Journey of American Women from 1960 to the Present.  (Aaaah...now I get the whole hullabaloo about the ERA.)  And I enjoyed even more reading America's Women: 400 Years of Dolls, Drudges, Helpmates, and Heroines.  This was a great read.  Definitely an overview.  But it was refreshing (and fun) to get the whole view--and see how everything/nothing has changed.

I love you, Gail Collins.  You saved my summer.  (Even though you took the whole summer off from your column.  Grrr.  I hope you were busy writing a book I can read next summer.)

In keeping with the whole American women's history theme, I thought I'd read Good Wives: Image and Reality in the Lives of Women in Northern New England, 1650-1750.  (A Midwife's Tale, also by Laurel Thatcher Ulrich, is one of my favorite books.)  But I was in Texas at the time--and Good Wives was at home.  So at the big Borders blow-out I picked up Founding Mothers.  (Bleck.  What a drag. And it wasn't the subject that was the problem.  At least this book helped me realize how well-written everything else I'd read this summer was.)

Then I got sucked back in--

I read another book about war!

But I couldn't help it!

The author is from my teensy tiny alma mater of Washington College on the lovely Eastern Shore of Maryland.  How could I resist?

And it turned out to be the best book I read all summer.

It's 1861: The Civil War Awakening by Adam Goodheart. Quirky, fascinating, eye-opening, inspiring, panoramic, intimate--and chillingly relevant.  I have no special interest in or knowledge of the Civil War beyond what I've retained since studying for the U.S. History AP exam--but I could hardly put the book down.  Looking at the stack of books I read this summer, I know you have every reason to be skeptical, as you should: but I recommend this book.

(It also solved two Missouri mysteries for me: why the state is always striped red and blue on Civil War maps and why St. Louis always acts like it's not connected to the rest of the state.  Missourians looooved slavery.  They were passionate about it.  Which helps explain why they hated the Mormons so much--those pesky Mormon settlers were antislavery.  But progressive St. Louis and, in particular, the city's German immigrants, who were antislavery and determined to fight for freedom, saved the state for the Union. So when your history teacher tells you that Missouri was "neutral" during the Civil War and you want to yawn because you're thinking beige, boring, and Switzerland, what he/she means to say is that Missouri was a bloody vortex of racial tension.  Not that sounds slightly more interesting.)

These days I'm back to Gail Gollins.  A book about the history of political gossip.  Really, it's comforting to know things have always been a mess, don't you think?  And then I really will get around to reading Good Wives.  All before the official end of summer, I expect.

It's nice to be reading again.  It means I'm in a good place in life.

Anyway, back to our bedside tables:

Next summer when you're looking for a good beach read, you know where NOT to come.

Sigh.

Happy Labor Day to me

It's my birthday!  This year it falls on Labor Day.  Which makes it extra special, since I was born on Labor Day.  (It was fitting.  My mom had an unfun, to put it mildly, labor experience...and birth experience...and recovery experience.  But, deciding to go breech and all, it was my fault.  Sorry, Mom.)

Here are some pictures from my birthday.

It was a lovely birthday.  Can you tell?

Here is how it all went down.

 I slept in.  Some.  Right when I was in the glorious depths of sleeping-in sleep, Mary came into my room ringing a cow bell and yelling, "Bacon and eggs!  Bacon and eggs!"  She was so excited it was my birthday!  So excited, in fact, that she thoughtfully informed me that I would want to get up and make bacon and eggs for myself and everyone else on my birthday.  (Which is why the house did not smell like bacon and eggs.)  I ate a bowl of cereal.

And I also realized, as my kids pranced around the house shouting "Happy Birthday!" that my day was not going to be my own.  My dream dream was to have the whole day all to myself.  But it was obvious that would break my children's hearts.  The clock is ticking--it won't be too long until that they want little to do with their dorky, embarrassing old mom.  So I figured I should enjoy their enthusiasm while it lasts.

Greg took them to Target, while I fruitlessly searched the city for an open nail salon.  Apparently, a pedicure on Labor Day is too much to ask...So I came home and took a nap.  A wonderful, desperately needed nap.  And no one woke me up with a cow bell.  I was finally ready to face my day, calloused feet and all.

Greg and the kids were rushing around baking my cake and wrapping my presents.  David and Mary's excitement melted my heart.  David had flowers for me.  Mary showed me the sparkly nail polish she had picked out--before she wrapped it.  David also gave me for my birthday a book he had recently finished reading, his science fair project, and a hug.  Mary upped his hug with a hug and a kiss.  Actually, it's been a hug-fest all day. I love it!

In the afternoon we dragged the kids out for a walk through the prairies at the arboretum.  I was blessed with gorgeous weather today.  GORGEOUS!  The whining was less than average.  And the prairies beautiful.

Afterwards, we headed to the yummiest pizza place in town, Pizza Brutta.  Mmmm.

At home a party was waiting for me, complete with Hello Kitty plates and a pinata. The pinata nearly gave me a heart attack--I was sure we'd end up with a hole in our wall--or Greg's new nose busted!  But I survived...and the kids loved it.  Their enthusiasm was the inspiring!  They acted like my birthday was the best day ever!  The most important day of the year!  Geez, I have great kids.

Now I'm taking a few minutes to post this--while GREG puts the kids to bed (best birthday present yet).

And I might even think about how I am 34 now.  To some of you that seems ancient.  To some of you that seems young.  And some of you are right here along with me.  During my 20's I would reflect on every year that went by, the meaning of those passing years, and what it meant to grow old.  Every year my anxiety and panic would rise.  (Because, of course, nearing 30 was "growing old.")  Since I turned 30, I've never stopped to think much about my age.  Life's been too...busy, too full with the good and bad and even mundane.  Too rich with experience.

So today part of me feels young.  And part of me feels old.

To be perfectly honest, I think I like the part of me that feels old better.  I've been tutored in the value of wisdom.  Life brings experience, and experience brings wisdom.  And I've just begun.

Some summer wrap-up

Back-to-school was yesterday.  And now Labor Day is upon us.  It seems like the perfect opportunity to post a random assortment of pictures from the summer.  Aren't you excited?

This summer included lots of playdates.  It was especially fun to bring together David's buddies from church.  They all live spread out through three different towns, so there's usually not time for many playdates with them during the busy school year.  This is Ellis, Owen, David and Jack.  

Mary enjoyed having friends over, too, this summer.  She and pal, Lea, have become great buddies.

We went swimming this summer!  Okay, so most of it was in Texas (where the following pictures were taken), but we did take the kids swimming a few times here in Wisconsin too.  (I'm not a hang-out-at-the-pool-all-day kind of gal, so my kids should realize how lucky they are to have gone swimming as much as they did!)

Gymnastics, gymnastics, gymnastics!  David definitely enjoyed gymnastics this summer.  It was great to see him really improve.  His class was small, so he got lots and lots of practice.  I think we're bidding farewell to The Little Gym.  It's not cheap, but I feel like we got what we paid for this summer (yay!).  And they have a great staff here.  But sometimes you just have to say good-bye.

It's tragic I took no pictures of Mary doing gymnastics.  She's really quite good!  She was even invited to move up to the "invitation only" advanced class.  But our commitment to mediocrity in this family is unwavering!  Now that she's catching on and beginning to excel, it's time to quit.  She wants to try dance.  But maybe we'll be back to gymnastics in the future.

I did take a picture of Mary and her teacher, Miss Ashleigh.  Look how happy Mary is!  Did I say the staff at The Little Gym here is great?  They make up for the  vaguely-creepy corporate gimicky-ness of it all. (Okay, I have to stop looking at this picture or I'm going to ignore good sense and sign my kids up again.)

This summer did have a few outings that had nothing to do with European immigrants.  For instance, Greg took them to the zoo for reptiles, giraffes, and snow cones.  See how nice we are.

Mary learned to play!  By herself!  It's a glorious day in a mother's life when her child learns to entertain herself for more than three minutes at a time.  This is Mary dancing with "Whaley in her boo-tiful dress."
"Whale-y in her boo-tiful dress" was Mary's playmate for a few days.

This summer included a few Brick Buddy meetings at the library.  Every season all year round includes lots of Legos in this family.

And that just about wraps up our summer.

It has been many years since I have a had summer that did not include moving, having a baby, or both.  In fact, the only summer I can think of that did not include moving, having a baby, or both was the summer I spent potty-training David (which made it the worst summer ever, no offense to my first-born child).  Last spring, I was a little freaked out at the prospect of three whole months with no baby, no moving, and no potty-training.*  What would we do???

But it turned out great!  I think overall we found a good balance in our schedule.  And guess what!  I really enjoyed spending time with my children.  I loved sitting by David's side as he progressed as a reader and watching Mary write her name over and over.  I even liked shuttling them all over tarnation to different activities.  I loved how tired they were every night after a full day of swimming, play dates, gymnastics, or whatever.  And I am so grateful to my children for being such good sports when we dragged them around "Europe" on the weekends.  (I had to keep my sanity somehow.)  But it's definitely time for new routines.  I started to burn out on summer by the end...so thank goodness for September.  It rescued us just in time.


* Hugs to Skye.  Who spent her summer moving, having a baby, and potty training.  She's a hero!



P.S.  We wrapped up our summer with Greg's nose wrapped up! Wednesday he had septoplasmy.  I am telling exactly what the procedure was for good reason.  For a few days, in conversations with people, I was politely vague about the details, saying only that Greg was having some minor surgery he'd been meaning to have for a while.  I mean, who wants to know the intricacies of Greg's left nostril?  As a result of my caginess, I got a lot of knowing looks and "Oooh, oookaaay" in response.  Finally, much later, the meaning of those knowing looks computed in my brain.  And now everyone in the neighborhood thinks Greg had a vasectomy this week.  Oh, well.  At least no one will wonder anymore if we're going to have more kids.

P.P.S.  Greg is doing fine.  In fact, he's doing quite well.