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| Sara at the airport waiting for her first plane ride |
Ohio to Boise is a long, long time on small, cramped airplanes. So I was nervous about flying with a baby on my lap. (I could remember what it was like last time. The trip included Mary's major meltdown.) But I had no need to fret. This was Sara!
I shouldn't have been surprised to find that Sara was easy to fly with. (This is a baby who entertained herself by gently holding--but not bending--the flight safety card for over an hour) She was nervous during our first flight, so she snuggled close and whimpered quietly. But once I reassured her, she became her bright, sweet, pleasant, happy self. She was full of smiles for all, but never demanded attention from anyone. She brought joy to all those around us.
The thing about flying alone with a baby is that you get to hold your baby for hours and hours on end. This is bad because you cannot accept the in flight beverage, pee, or, if it's a Canadian Regional Jet, stand up. But there are few other times when you get to hold your baby close for so long. It's kind of great, actually. Especially if your baby is not screaming his or her head off.
(I remember flying from Turkey to Salt Lake City alone with a six-month-old David. The journey is over 24-hours, and, in order to negotiate customs alone in Istanbul on the way back, I did not bring a stroller. So I literally held my baby for over a day a straight, twice. I felt so bonded to him after that, and we were pretty bonded before. But the other thing I have to say is: How did I do that??!! Flying alone across the Atlantic with a super high maintenance baby?!! Crazy, crazy.)
Since Sara was so pleasant, I frequently heard these types of comments: "Oh, she is so good. You are such a good mom!" "Your baby did so well on the flight. You must really know what you're doing." "I don't know how you do it, but you have one very well-behaved baby."
My first thought is, "It's not me! It's her!! Yes, she is the best baby ever and it has nothing to do with me!" Because this is true.
Now, spare me the whole oh she's your third child and now you know what you're doing and you're all relaxed and that makes her good. That is a bunch of crap. First of all, I am not an idiot. I am the mom. I can see if my kids have different personalities and temperaments, especially now, by the third one. If anything, I'm even more sure that David especially and even Mary were difficult babies. I don't look back and say, "Gee, I really did everything wrong." Now that I have a normal baby I look back and say, "Gee, I had some challenging babies. It's a relief to know it wasn't me with the problem." I maybe didn't have it all together, but do you really really think I MADE David be the kind of baby he was? You're going to be that cruel and imply that I brought it on myself? Second of all, I take issue with your assumption that I am more relaxed now. Please ask my husband, who happens to be married to a woman who is currently in a near constant state of panic, worry, and anxiety. If my level of relaxedness directly correlates to my baby's health, happiness, and sleep patterns, then Sara would be a sickly, grouchy baby who sleeps exactly 37 minutes in a 24 hour period.
Yes, I will concede that experience definitely helps. There are things about having a baby that I feel confident about now, and that has come with having had two others. But, over all, Sara has been a pleasant, "by the book" kind of baby because she came that way. (By the way, if you ever made a comment to me about Sara being easy because she's number 3, I promise I cannot remember it because I can't--and I did not get offended in the least. Or if I did, I can't remember it and I still love you with all my heart. I imagine I was mostly just trilled you were acknowledging the sweetness of my baby. No worries.)
So, when all those lovely, well-meaning people praised my mothering skills instead of my baby's innate contented, peaceful personality, what did I do?
I smiled and took the credit.
